Generally looking for help and advice

So the above is probably mostly theoretical gobble gook and not all that helpful, but maybe the Rigpa Glimpse of the Day for today, Feb 7 will help:

THE ESSENTIAL NATURE OF MIND

No words can describe it
No example can point to it
Samsara does not make it worse
Nirvana does not make it better
It has never been born
It has never ceased
It has never been liberated
It has never been deluded
It has never existed
It has never been nonexistent
It has no limits at all

It does not fall into any kind of category.


Matt again now:

So I have boundaries, you have boundaries, gods have boundaries, all sentient beings, all selves are bound by ignorance of some kind. The true nature of all or our minds, all being's minds, is boundless, impossible to define.

That is one Buddhist perspective. Atheism is an idea, ideas have boundaries, meaning, definitions. Your mind, finally, does not. Its true nature is beyond all of that. Beyond all meaning even.

Well, I find it helpful to listen to my heart, it is Okay to recognize we are afraid of a lot of things and for a lot of different reasons. Sometimes just accepting yourself as you are is the best medicine. These internal conflicts are just that, if we let go on our self-side, then the subconscious part loses power.

Whatever you are really feeling is probably pretty complicated and will come up in layers. A lot of emotions are very scary at first. They seem like they will overwhelm us. But they are really dependent on our struggle to repress them. Don't act out in a negative way, but learn to gradually let go of some of that control we have all conditioned ourselves to exert in our hearts and minds. It takes time.

Namaste Feathers...i had an issue with the discipline it takes to keep to a regular daily meditation in the beginning. What helped me was working on controlling my reactions to the ups and downs of my emotions of everyday life events. i did this with trying to stay focused on an awareness of what i was feeling and visualize myself as outside of myself looking in. This worked for me to keep a more balance attitude and also much sought after patience and tolerance. Once i had established that balance i was better prepared to stay still and clear my mind more often. Now if i don't meditate at least morning and night i feel like i am missing out on what gives much strength, so i make it a priority. i don't know if this is of any help to you but i hope so. i don't think it is necessary to make a commitment to a belief in God either way, if it is to be known you will find that knowledge eventually, imo. From the opening page of this site... "Don't try to use what you learn from Buddhism to be a Buddhist;
use it to be a better whatever-you-already-are."
His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama

Feathers, you make perfect sense and thanks for posting.

Here is my reaction:
You need to ask yourself why you are interested in Buddhism.

Buddhism is not about meditating. It is a (valuable) tool used in Buddhist practice but unless you know what to meditate on then you are simply practicing meditation, which is fine but not really Buddhism.

Buddhism claims to have the most accurate view of reality and a solution to suffering. The details are very interesting and that is where you need to begin, which you probably have.

But the motivation for meditation comes from a level of confidence in what Buddhism claims so it is critical that you gain a level of confidence through study and contemplation and then meditation.

I completely understand why you feel hesitation when you see some of the Buddhist rituals which do not necessarily make sense and surely seem like the religious stuff that turns you off.

I recommend you ignore these things completely and focus on whether the philosophy makes sense to you. Questions about the philosophy in this forum will help you gain confidence in the solution and then you will find meditation easier.

Make sense?
Jeff

Hi Feathers,

Here is a very different take on it again...
You wrote that you read books on Buddhism, that's great of course, but to be honest, it can be a bit like wanting to get a drivers licence and read books about driving a car. Unless you have been sitting behind a steering wheel, reading books has very little to do with driving a car.
Similarly, when beginners read books on Buddhism without getting in touch with real people, be that ordinary Buddhists or qualified teacers, it remains extremely theoretical.
Yes, there certainly can be negative consequences of following religious sects, or jumping into a religion without using our brain, but cars can be pretty dangerous too... Did that danger prevent you from getting your drivers licence?

Many people who read stuff about Buddhism and who feel some attraction to it get into a very similar state that you describe: to begin with, people who read about Buddhism with serious interest usually are looking for something else then their current belief, or the religion they were brought up in. So, even just picking up a book about Buddhism often implies a certain discontent with religion. But then try to take some distance to your small self and check if you are really against religion, or simply against your experience of Christianity? At least, that was the case with me when I was about your age...

Now this may sound harsh perhaps, but what if you shove aside your prejudices against religion in general, and have the courage to visit a Buddhist center and see what happens? If you try to keep your mind at the same time critical and open, what can go wrong?
What do you call religion anyway? Religions vary so much in practice and philosophy, most generalizing statements are simply incorrect, so if you try to be honest; how well thought-over is your aversion against religion?
I discovered that (having been raised a Catholic) I was never really against religion, but I merely assumed that all religions relied on blind faith, and that is what I hated. Then I found out that Buddhism rejects blind faith...

Meditation is extremely hard to learn by yourself, from a book or so. A much more effective way is to visit a center and follow some meditation classes/sessions. Once you discover how 'real' meditation works, chances are that you don't need to force yourself at all to meditate, simply because you might like it!

Love & clear light

Thanks again guys :-)

re. reading being like reading about driving a car: yup I absolutely agree, that's why I want to get meditating :-) Your other comments really weren't harsh at all, and I have been looking for a centre. This is going to sound awfully like making excuses, but my town is pretty limited for options (basically New Kadampa or nothing) and I don't have a car, or the money to be able to get the train to London regularly. But I absolutely agree I need to get out there and go somewhere. I've been looking at vipassanna courses, with a view to doing one later this year when my studies end. After that I'll be moving house, so will look for a centre wherever I move to (gonna aim for a decent sized city, so hopefully will have better options).

That was an interesting article . . . an admirable woman, but I think if I met her I would be absolutely terrified!

Hi Feathers.

Thank you for refreshing our memory about your current situation.

You wrote:



Perhaps it’s more like your definition of religion, as Rudy suggests, that you have an issue with. When you think about it, we “practice” all kinds of things based on faith/belief without even thinking about it. Even atheists who don’t practice a so-called religion are faithful that something called God doesn’t exist and “practice” life accordingly.

Personally, I’ve often thought about Buddhism as a mind technology, since that’s what it seems to work with primarily--using our own concepts to break concepts. But I also think it could be considered a philosophy since it affords an opportunity to learn about and live toward something like “the good.”

And I also tend to think of the definition of religion to be much the same as the definition of “yoga,” since it appears to be what religious practices attempt to do:

In Vedic Sanskrit, the more commonly used, literal meaning of the Sanskrit word yoga which is "to add", "to join", "to unite", or "to attach" from the root yuj, already had a much more figurative sense, where the yoking or harnessing of oxen or horses takes on broader meanings such as "employment, use, application, performance" (compare the figurative uses of "to harness" as in "to put something to some use"). All further developments of the sense of this word are post-Vedic. More prosaic moods such as "exertion", "endeavour", "zeal" and "diligence" are also found in Epic Sanskrit.

There are very many compound words containing yog in Sanskrit. Yoga can take on meanings such as "connection", "contact", "method", "application", "addition" and "performance". For example, guṇá-yoga means "contact with a cord"; chakrá-yoga has a medical sense of "applying a splint or similar instrument by means of pulleys (in case of dislocation of the thigh)"; chandrá-yoga has the astronomical sense of "conjunction of the moon with a constellation"; puṃ-yoga is a grammatical term expressing "connection or relation with a man", etc. Thus, bhakti-yoga means "devoted attachment" in the monotheistic Bhakti movement. The term kriyā-yoga has a grammatical sense, meaning "connection with a verb". But the same compound is also given a technical meaning in theYoga Sutras (2.1), designating the "practical" aspects of the philosophy, i.e. the "union with the Supreme" due to performance of duties in everyday life.


Generally put, yoga is a disciplined method utilized for attaining a goal…
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yoga#Terminology



Here, I’m kind of surprised that you aren’t a bit conflicted about something like “worshipping a false idol,” it perhaps being something of a leftover from a Christian perspective. But your mention of gods and goddesses suggests that you may have a bit of that going. As I understand it, the representations of the bodhisattvas are more like symbols of the enlightened qualities we aspire to by means of practice. So you might want to research that aspect.

As far as sitting goes, try reducing the “just 10 minutes,” lower until you at least can get sat down. Even if you have to go to a mere one minute, just getting to the cushion can be the beginnings of a great habit. You also might tune in to your pattern(s) of thoughts, feelings and behavior that go with the avoidance of sitting while you are going through it. This at least brings mindfulness into the picture. As you become more aware of your mental “routines,” you may find it easier to intervene when you recognize where the current thought is leading.

You might also try other forms of meditation such as prostration or walking meditation. Researching the benefits any of these—whether it’s a Buddhist teaching or scientific research---also provides a great motivation for actually doing them. For example, I recently learned that the brain’s healing capacity is switched on simultaneously with the cessation of thought. So, in a way, our ability to stop thinking is a natural healer. I personally believe this capacity is increased with meditation.

Daily study, reflection and meditation, as Jeff says, will likely keep you working toward to more positive aspects of practice. And the way I tend to look at it, two outta three ain’t bad.

By the way, the former US President Bush updated the “fool me once” saying, as you may recall. It now goes like this:

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

Hi Feathers,
One thing I thought about when re-reading your messages is that just a few decades ago, people basically had to travel to the other side of the world to study Buddhism - and they did.

It may sound a bit weird, but it can be an advantage when we need to make some effort to receive teachings: when we finally get them, we probably consider them even more precious.

She sounds like someone who doesn't suffer fools, or hesitant/nervous people. And I can be very foolish I tend to respond better to patient people with a sense of humour about the world and, ideally, themselves. I'm not saying she sounds nasty, but she sounds like someone who would be described as "direct", and those sorts of people tend to make me want to curl into a little ball until they go away.