Doubts

Graham, I believe having life altering or traumatic experiences can shake us and our beliefs, yes.
But I also believe that it is at those times when we need our practice the most.
It can seem easier said than done because traumatic experiences can create doubt about even more than our practice, sometimes it can cause a general negativity about life in general to develop.
Doubt is a major hindrance not only to our practice, but in our ability to stay in touch with the positive aspects of life. The death of a loved one can be especially confusing and draining, but I don't think that you should view your doubt, or feelings of being lost as unusual.
I'm sure many, if not all of us, have that experience from time to time and just like all other mental formations and phenomena, it passes.
Doubt and loss don't change the fact that karma and attachment have powerful effects on us, if anything it reinforces it.
Be patient and compassionate with yourself, thats what I usually do when faced with these circumstances. As to the last part of your question regarding subsequent lives, I will leave that to someone else, my feelings on that subject change from time to time. But I do think it's possible.

Dear Graham,

I have been thinking about you…

Here are my recommendations to help with your doubts.

1. Choose 3 people and take 5 minutes each to explain to them why they are so important to you. Express your sincere gratitude, love and respect for them in a way that makes sense to you. This requires some thought so you really feel it.
2. Make a commitment to volunteer somewhere. You could go to a local nursing home, mentor a child or something like that.

I feel strongly that these actions will help.

Much love,
Jeff

I appreciate the replies.

I think the nature of my message made it sound like I was reaching out, when i was actually more interested in hearing if others experienced similar doubts at all. I was studying Rudy's page on doubts a bit and some of the Buddha's thoughts on this attitude. Like John said, doubt appears to be viewed as as a deterrent to effective practice, whereas we highly value doubt (or skepticism) in the West. I suppose that has a tendency to place some of us at a crossroads. On the one hand, we want to be able to verify everything Buddhism has to offer for ourselves. One of the appeals of Buddhism is its emphasis on checking teachings for one's self. At some point, the teachings become more difficult to verify and one must take a leap of faith in order to proceed. I think that, like Tamara says, to continue practicing is the best way to handle this. It's frustrating how the doubt of one or two aspects of the teachings have the ability to bring the whole system down at times.

Jeff,

I'd like to try your suggestions. What type of people do you suggest I talk to about doubts? Buddhists/non-Buddhists? In-person or does this count? I currently volunteer about 20 hours a week, although it's as a coach of a youth sports team. I don't know if volunteering counts when it's fun.

Graham

What do you mean by merit? Where does it accumulate? What had the Buddha done to accumulate such merit to overcome his delusions?

I guess I become somewhat tripped over things like this. It sounds like merit suggests that there is some universal moral force that is handing out prizes for doing good deeds. Maybe I am not interpreting this correctly. I am confused as to how making offerings translates to overcoming delusions or changing our relationship to suffering in any way (unless there are holy beings, as you say). On other other hand, I do agree that demonstrating compassion and performing meritorious actions feels good. I am not in the same boat that the details are academic, however, as my belief in the principle relies heavily on my being able to verify it according to my own level of understanding.

I know what you mean. I just mean that the details of those events which are currently very far beyond my ability to see (how they work exactly), like the Buddha's deeds or Guru Devotion are academic in that the details are less important than the effect.

However, it is extremely important to gain confidence in karma/cause and effect. That's not academic.

The question then becomes one of degree of confidence. Like if we tried to put a percentage on our degree of confidence in a consciousness that is separate from our neurons (not to change the subject) we would each have a different level. It's not like we all are certain 2+2=4.

When looking for "proof" or evidence of things like this it is important to remember the very first step in establishing proof of consciousness (or cause and effect) is becoming familiar with the concept of proof itself.

Is proof something that you can see for yourself (black holes, string theory) or is it something that the scientific community can agree on (global warming)?

Is proof something that can be inferred (Higgs Boson, Multiverse)? Is proof something that requires mathematic certainty (string theory, quantum mechanics, relativity)?

Is reality itself subject to observation (Schroedinger's Cat)?

Is proof absolute by nature? Jurisprudence doesn’t think so, by establishing different levels of criteria for civil and criminal cases and then submitting evidence to a jury for subjective evaluation.

Without deeply exploring the concept of proof until you have a level of comfort and confidence, the evidence for consciousness simply will not have any impact whatsoever.

Just as a painter spends 90% of his time preparing the surface by stripping, spackling, sanding and priming so the paint will be applied effectively so must our understanding of proof be established preparing our minds prior to the search for consciousness.

Much love to you on your journey, and it can be a long one...

Would you say that merit is the same as karma/cause and effect, or are these each separate concepts?

So for most of this thread I felt the same I did with the Expectations thread. I agreed with pretty much everything being said, expectations and doubts are a part of samsaric life, and they can hinder our practice. So good to think about and meditate on, but expecting a complete cessation of them or some kind of final solution prior to full enlightenment is unrealistic.

Now that we are talking about something more specific, questioning, and undoubtedly doubting how merit is accumulated, or karma of any kind, I thought I would reiterate my understanding of how why actions affect our consciousness, because it seemed like you responded positively to my last attempt on the other forum, Graham.

What is delusion? Our principal delusion seems to be that we exist separately, somehow isolated from other beings and that our actions are similarly isolated from other phenomena. It is reasonable to assume our actions can influence and effect others, but only in ways that are logical assuming the isolation of our own consciousness. This normal view is considered delusional, though ubiquitous amongst sentient beings, in the context of Buddhism.

This experience of being separate, isolated and individual in our hearts and minds causes us suffering because it is an illusion and creates the conditions for fear, attachment, bias, unrealistic expectations and all manner of psychological afflictions.

When we commit an act considered negative, because of its effect, then this leaves a mark or stain on our consciousness. The effect of this stain is it makes our consciousness denser and we feel more isolated, more separate and feel the afflictions of a samsaric mind, such as greed, anger and jealousy, and all kinds of suffering more acutely. Positive actions tend to effect our consciousness in ways that make it feel more spacious, open and positive. This tends to work against attachment.

The experience of pain in my leg can be much worse if I am
terrified it will kill me, or change my life in some undesirable way. On the other hand, if I am a warm hearted person who is sincerely concerned with the suffering and happiness of others, it might just be a small inconvenience.

Wanting to be happy does not mean we will be.

Here's a page right from this website on doubt-(you may have already read it)


DOUBT
Defined as: deluded indecisive wavering - being in two minds about reality; usually leading to negative actions. Examples are, once one has decided to be a Buddhist, doubting karma, rebirth etc. In fact, one should be clear about these fundamental aspects prior to becoming a Buddhist.

TRANSFORM: lack of self-confidence or ignorance
WITH: study, critical analysis, reflection, enthusiasm, meditation.
INTO: clarity, self-confidence and conviction.

"There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts, it is a sword that kills."
The Buddha

"Although individuals may be highly intelligent, they are sometimes dogged by skepticism and doubts. They are clever, but they tend to be hesitant and skeptical and are never really able to settle down. These people are the least receptive"
His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama

"If we were to put our minds to one powerful wisdom method and work with it directly, there is a real possibility we would become enlightened.
Our minds, however, are riddled with confusion and doubt. I sometimes think that doubt is an even greater block to human evolution than is desire or attachment. Our society promotes cleverness instead of wisdom, and celebrates the most superficial, harsh, and least useful aspects of our intelligence. We have become so falsely “sophisticated” and neurotic that we take doubt itself for truth, and the doubt that is nothing more than ego’s desperate attempt to defend itself from wisdom is deified as the goal and fruit of true knowledge.
This form of mean-spirited doubt is the shabby emperor of samsara, served by a flock of “experts” who teach us not the open-souled and generous doubt that Buddha assured us was necessary for testing and proving the worth of the teachings, but a destructive form of doubt that leaves us nothing to believe in, nothing to hope for, and nothing to live by."

"Doubts demand from us a real skillfulness in dealing with them, and I notice how few people have any idea how to pursue doubts or to use them. It seems ironic that in a civilization that so worships the power of deflation and doubt, hardly anyone has the courage to deflate the claims of doubt itself-to do as one Hindu master said: 'turn the dogs of doubt on doubt itself, to unmask cynicism, and to uncover what fear, despair, hopelessness, and tired conditioning it springs from'. Then doubt would no longer be an obstacle, but a door to realization, and whenever doubt appeared in the mind, a seeker would welcome it as a means of going deeper into the truth."
Sogyal Rinpoche from Glimpse of the Day.